The Inexplicable Art of Yoni Massage

We might have heard over the last few years the term ‘yoni massage’ and might have even read articles about it.

However, the as anything that relates to a woman’s body, sensuality and love, there is a true art into it. Moreover, many women are carrying contractions from previous relationships, heart aches, and often sexual conditioning imprints from their ancestors or even sexual assault trauma.

So let’s start with the basics and talk a bit about what ‘yoni massage’ is and how to do give it in a way, which is easy, understandable and caring for the receiver.

What is a yoni massage?

Yoni massage is an internal genital massage for women, performed by either a female or male practitioner or partner. "Yoni" is a word, which has no direct translation in English, but encompasses the whole genital area, internal and external. Usually, when we refer to "Yoni massage", we are referring to the internal part of the massage.

How do you do it? (If you can break this down into steps, that'd be helpful)

1. Set up ambiance - light candles, dim lights, prepare bed cover and clean sheets.

2. Connect with your hearts (both giver and receiver).

3. Stay for a few moments in silence. Yoni massage is best performed, when the giver and receiver empty themselves from their experiences of the day. Silence is the best way to do that.

4. Start from the outside in - massage the whole body from the extremities towards the torso. Use gentle and long strokes. Ensure that the woman likes the speed and depth of pressure.

5. Next, massage the breasts. Massaging the breasts opens the genitals.

6. Move towards the genitals by massaging the upper tights, the mons pubis (mount of Venus)

7. Ask the woman if she allows her genitals to be touched. Is she ready? Then if she says "yes", start massaging the external and internal labia. Spend enough time covering the external clitoris (the clitoral legs). Do not touch the clitoris directly. You can spend time gently circling around or lightly brushing it sideways (touch as light as feather).

8. Ask the receiver if she is ready to receive you internally. If she says "yes", slowly and gently, millimeter by millimeter enter with 1 or 2 fingers.

By then she most probably would be very open. Be mindful if she is contracted and if pain surfaces. She might have trauma, which might start coming up.

9. Feel gently around her vagina for any tense areas. Stay and be present with your attention and touch.

10. Internal massage is not recommended for more than 15 minutes. The goal depends on the receiver's desire. Does she want to be stimulated and orgasm? Does she want to ejaculate? Or is it a healing massage? If the massage is healing, arousal and orgasm might be a side effect, but will not be the goal. Presence is key in all cases.

11. The giver might use a finger to be present with the G-spot and then deeper with the cervix. Always keep contact and feel how the woman feels and what state she is in. If emotions surface. Stay with her and hold space. Most women carry a lot of social imprinting and generational trauma in their genitals.

12. When complete, pull your hand slowly, millimeter by millimeter.

13. Cup her yoni with your palm. Stay like that for a few minutes. Then remove your hands slowly away from her body.

14. Stay present with her for a few moments, after you have removed your hands.

15. Ask her if she wants to be spooned. If she does, spoon her.

16. Check with her if she is feeling ok. As her if she wants to share anything? Ask her if she need water, juice, or tea?

What do people like about it/what are the benefits? Any tips to enhance it?

Depending on what kind of yoni massage is performed - healing or arousing (unlocking the g-spot and unlocking the cervix), there are a lot of different benefits.

What people like about yoni massage is that it opens the woman and prepares her for higher states of embodiment of the sexual energy. Further, it is healing on a very deep level for both personal and generational trauma (if performed with awareness, heart and presence)

Tips to enhance it: check steps above and also ensure that the giver is empty of their own agenda. The yoni massage is about the woman, whatever her intent is in that moment, not about the giver desire.

If the yoni massage is performed for healing, it is recommended to not have sex for at least 1.5 hours.

Full presence of the giver and staying on each spot of tension, while the giver feels and works with the tensions inside the yoni will enhance the experience. The yoni will open much deeper physically and energetically.

Never press too much and stay too long with tension in one spot. More frequent yoni massages are better than trying to do all the work at once.

How can you talk to your partner about doing this?

You can share that you have learned about these amazing massages and how much they will enhance the overall experience of sex for the couple, both physically and energetically.

Are there any precautions to take when giving/receiving a yoni massage?

Always ask the woman about her intent for the yoni massage.

Also, be aware that trauma might surface. If the woman goes into deep healing, she might experience intense anger, grief even, rage.

Be present with her. If the emotions are very intense, you can gently remove the fingers from inside her and let her calm down naturally.

by Milena Dishovska (aka Milena Devi)

Art by Tina Maria Elena