What makes GOOD SEX BETTER?(TANTRIC Q&A)

milenadishovska
Jan 1
4 min read

Updated: Jan 2

Dear friends, I am starting a new series:

WHAT MAKES GOOD S*X EVEN BETTER (TANTRIC & LOVE Q&A)

🔥🔥❤️💋 ❤️🔥🔥❤️💋 ❤️🔥🔥❤️💋 ❤️🔥🔥

QUESTION Play Points:

🔥 WHAT DOES 🔥🔥GOOD F@REPLAY🔥🔥 LOOK LIKE?

🔥 WHY F@REPLAY MATTERS?

💦 WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WOMAN FEELS UNDER PRESSURE TO BE T*RNED ON?

❤️ And... THE MAN wants to P*NETRATE?

🌟 Before entering T@NTRA, we need to learn the ART OF S*X!

And here is the 👉 FULL QUESTION: 👈

I’d like to know what F@REPLAY LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU.

HOW DOES IT START, WHAT DO YOU DO, HOW LONG DOES IT GO FOR?

I’ve heard so much the past year that 🔥 💦 🔥 WOMEN NEED AROUND 20 MINITES TO GET FULLY WARMED UP.

For us from the first touch/k*ss to the end done is 20 MINITES and I JUST DON'T SEEM TO FEEL ANYTHING. IT'S ME JUST GOING THROUGH YHE MOTIONS.

My husband has never offered anything different, we don’t use toys.

I can totally narrate how it’s going to go.

I have asked him for pressure to be applied while in the warm up stage, but he always forgets and I feel like maybe it’s just the fast p*rn star style s*x. Idk

If I knew what we could do I guess maybe that might help, but I feel under pressure to be t*rned on.

👉 ANSWER: 👈

Hi dear,

I feel your sadness and frustration. This is a lovely and difficult topic and I understand how hard it is to break the cycle of inwardly feeling pressured to please him by showing arousal when it isn't there yet for you.

We are all on this journey together:

1 Men & women are complementary opposites.

Men are designed by nature to get ar*used quickly. We need time.

2. We are both conditioned by p*rn, because this is the only education available

3. Men are used to moving with their ar*usal and often have NO comprehension of our differences EXPERIENTIALY.

4. It takes understanding, time, connection, compassion for the differences and patience to re-write habits.

Here is how I've moved through this with my l@ver.

1/ I start slow - with myself and him. Since I am part of the cycle of response. I started noticing how I contract, when he tried to p*netrate before I am ready - because of the pressure I felt. This would take my energy away from focusing on where he is and what he wants from me. So, he would feel he is left alone in our passionate play and would get a cue something changed for me.

2/ I talked to him about male and female ar*usal cycles multiple times and how we differ. And that naturally men get er*ct, then they soften and get er*ct again. So, it is like waves, rather than one time event that 'god forbid,' if he loses it, we've 'missed the train'.

3/ I've started internally getting comfortable with the fact that he will have an er*ction, and want to p*netrate, but there is no need to 'do anything', because the er*ctions come and go.

4/ Staying focused on my body and what happens to me. It is a habit to disconnect from the body (as a result of being used to comparison with him). But once I do connect with myself, I start feeling myself deeper and actually relax and get even more ar*used, too, because he is ar*used by me. (It is my experience anyway, but you can play with this).

5/ I've realize deeply that S*X is PLAYFUL. There is no script. Also, when we both perform, we get tight and serious...

And, I actually might miss the fact that every time we come together, we are both different. Even moreso I am, as a woman (depending on my cycle, my emotional state, my energy, my openness to him (may be we had an argument, and I mighe be closed up OR I am mistrusting OR irritated, as I feel I have to perform and he does not hear me..., OR I shared something intimate thus, I am more open to him).

So, I have learned to play with tuning into my own energy waves and inner movements in response to my states, my changes and our dynamics.

6/ I have learned to have compassion for both myself and him. As we might understand with our minds, but true understanding comes from embodiment and experiencing the difference.

7/ I understand deeply that some men can be under a lot of internal pressure from p*rn about what 'GOOD S*X' looks like as their brains are wired to be visual (and they might have not had any other education), ... Yet, there is a lot more we could play with, as we both have the capacity for multiple and whole body org@sms.

Our bodies are exquisite like musical instrument and we need to both LEARN THE ART of playing beautiful music on these instruments...

As men and women we are complementary opposites.

While, men's energy moves from the p*nis outward, ours moves from the body inward, towards our g*nitals), so our bodies open slowly. And my slowness is not an impediment, it is a gift...

8/ 'Good s*x' is connection first and foremost. And connection starts with each of us connecting with ourselves, and maintaining both the connection of me with myself and with the other, while being together, as it is a dance with myself and the other. S*x and the connection get deeper as the heart opens up deeper in trust and surrender. So, as he experiences me opening up in trust and surrender, he learns experientially, and he gets confident, and wants more of it, as the quality, depth and lenght of s*x transform both of us...

And there are many more elements and layers. But that is a good start. The deeper you both go together the more trust, love, joy, pleasure and connection open up and more depth...

Good s*x is a journey, not a destination. Good luck, dear.

Much love,

Karuna Devi ❤️ 💕 💖

Art by Tina Maria Elena